More than 90 minutes.

You’ve taken time off work and travelled for hours to see your team play hundreds of miles away on a Wednesday night, but after 40 minutes you find your team losing 3-0. At this point, many English football fans would consider leaving the ground and going home. At FC St. Pauli, it’s slightly different. Here’s a helpful guide to what you should do in these situations…

Step 1: Raise your hands and sing along.

Step 2: Bounce. After all, we all feel better after a good bounce on the terraces, don’t we?

Step 3: Still not sure whether to leave early and avoid the traffic or not? Not sure your team will even create another shot on target? Just pretend you’ve scored.

Step 4: Full time, and now you’re worried about the traffic and whether you’re going to make it home in time to catch the evening news. Why not just stay and have a party in the stands?

Finally, don’t forget to keep warm. Particularly in the winter months. (no, it’s bad, honest…the DFB say so. Seriously kids, don’t try this at home.)